welcome 2 my twisted mind....

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No clue what I'm putting here to be quite frank

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you can find me on other places by the username sourlulu!
this includes discord, everskies, and many more!


may 25th, 2024: hi hi hi hello! new thought is up!! i thought i was gonna write more but it ended kinda abruptly... oh well, such is the nature of writing it all without a plan...!
i also edited my "about" a bit to be more up-to-date. no big changes.

may 14th, 2024: Hi! it's been a while... I wasn't really myself for the past few months, but now I'm back!
A vague explanation can be found in my thoughts page, titled "Being Someone Else"...!!

january 18th, 2024: New deep thought about media triggering my depersonalization and derealization! It's a bit ramblier than usual but I think it could be interesting?

january 11th, 2024: Added a new OC page! It's for two of my older OCs I made with a friend I no longer talk to, LOL
Idk if I'll ever reuse them, but I like the doodles I had of them and wanted to share ...

january 9th, 2024: First update of the new year, yay!!
I've added two deep thoughts, one about the people I've loved in my dreams, and one about reincarnation!

december 29th, 2023: Another deep thought has hit the website!!! this one's about my weird relationship with my asexuality and why the label both does and doesnt fit! As a reminder, the deep thoughts can always be found through my "diary" page! Please heed any trigger warnings!

december 27th, 2023: New reviews are here finally (5 of them)!! I haven't been reading a lot of finished works lately, so that's why there hasn't been new reviews in a while ... Either way, I hope you enjoy!

Also added a playlist for my OCs Leo and Erik! It's an old playlist I've had since I first came up with them, so I'm gonna have to go through it and weed out some songs I don't like anymore, but otherwise I'm happy I finally got that transferred to Youtube!!

ALSO ALSO: Added some more on the Leo & Erik story, just a couple paragraphs... If you've read all of it so far, the new part starts at "Packing was relatively easy". Ctrl+F that thang to keep reading!!!
I'm not all that happy with my writing on this, but I just really love those two and when you're gushing about your OCs you have to write your own damn story to indulge in them... Hope at least my love for them shows through the sub-par writing... Btw I swear they're not supposed to be secretly in love with eachother despite the extremely gay music in the playlist, 90% of it is just me listening to a lot of gay music and projecting heavily...

december 23rd, 2023: Put some new buttons on my about page! I think they're real cute . I'll put the source in my finds later, but for those curious right now, they're from here!

december 21st, 2023: Little style update this time!
Felt like doing a little winter overhaul and make my site all cozy! Went from the lighter woven background, to a nice soft knit. Also replaced my dotted lines with... MORE KNIT!!! If this update doesn't make you feel all warm and cozy, I don't know what would...

Also added more sites to my finds page! Because of the content on my site, I'm always a bit wary of following/linking other sites... Hope none of them mind...
Also, if you don't see your page on there, don't worry, I'm just lazy and added the ones I already had saved since before LOL

december 20th, 2023: Added two new deep thoughts recently! One's about being chronically ill but not really fitting the colloquial definition of it, and the other (written today!) is a brief glimpse into my experiences living with delusions and such. I think the one about delusions is a pretty interesting read, if you can handle the topic!

december 18th, 2023: Added some fun kaomoji gifs to my graphics...!!!! I might need to fiddle with the font or line size so they fit perfectly but arent they SO cute...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Decided to change the text color to fit them better!! i think they blend in nicely now

Also, I made the text a bit bigger in my big scrolly things. I Struggled reading the smaller sized font earlier, and though this feels more claustrophobia-inducing, it's a lot easier to read!

december 17th, 2023: Added a page to honor my childhood self! It's not very complicated but it's a cute peek into my remaining memories of that time of my life. The page can be found through my "About", and down at the bottom left, under my quiz results! You can also find it HERE!

december 15th, 2023: New review added, just one this time! It's a really REALLY long review for MADK, since I have a lot of feelings about it. Please give the review a read if you'd like.

december 14th, 2023: Added more to the Leo & Erik story, I made a few changes and corrections in the already written portion, and tacked on another like... 1000 words... I didn't even intend for it to be a genuine little story, but that's just how life goes sometimes. I've got a bit left to write, but it'll probably end up being around 3k words AT MOST, since I don't really have much planned for after their first winter 2gether. Maybe I'll write more, maybe not. The shitty little box you read it in definitely isn't ideal for longer stories though...

ANYWAY. If you read it before this update, you can skip the old part by ctrl+f-ing and looking up "a person"!

december 13th, 2023: Forgot to update yesterday but I made an OC directory! You can now click on the little "OCs" tab up in my header, and have a little peek at some of my OCs. I finished the duos first, since I kinda... made the layout for them... I still don't know how I'm gonna do the singles but I'll probably be cheap with it and leave a huge empty space or something... Maybe I'll squish the "story" part under the info boxes and leave the entire left side for artwork?? Who knows!

EDIT: Finished them all!

december 12th, 2023: Thinking of adding a page/directory for OCs since I don't use sites like toyhouse or anything for my stuff... I have a few OCs that I think about regularly, and having a space to talk about their stories and designs (etc.) would be nice! Not sure how I would go about the layout though... I think I'd have to do a pretty different layout to be able to fit all the images I need, as well as fields for both info AND story. I'll make a little sketch and then see what I can do!
I also need to revamp the code for the rest of my site since it's pretty shoddy, but I mean.... it works?? and it looks good?? grr...

december 11th, 2023: New deep thought has been added, going further on my thoughts on being sad and pathetic (jk, its abt touch starvation again). It's pretty personal but in that way where I'm fine with strangers reading it but the thought of admitting any of it to my friends feels like a death sentence... enjoy....

december 10th, 2023: Coded a whole new start page so newcomers know what's up! One of those sites that features smaller sites followed me despite one of their rules being "no nsfw or questionable content" and me having literal porn manga reviews on here (non-explicit in writing, but still...) made me really question how thouroughly these people check sites LOL
SO, I decided a little warning page was good. Also warning mobile users because I am NOT optimizing my site for mobile LOL

december 7th, 2023: Added 4 new reviews yesterday, I haven't been reading much since there's not a lot of new manga I like enough to finish... whatevs!
Considering adding a page where I practice Japanese writing, although it would probably just be me writing whatever I'm thinking about, like a hybrid between my diary and deeper thoughts page... I'll add it unlinked for now and see if I use it at all...

december 3rd, 2023: Put up a deep thought about hyperfixation and special interests n how i don't really relate to either experience in the like... stereotypical way? it's brief, it's not very deep, but i'm satisfied with it!

november 25th, 2023: More deep thoughts! We love deep thoughts! One about my spiritual beliefs (well... the main one at least), and one about my lost teenage years. Both are probably way too personal but I think putting my thoughts n feelings out there on the interweb is a way to reach digital immortality... Did you know I'm a little deranged? Thought so...

edit: Wrote another deep thought oopsieeee.... this one's about gender n the fact i never really had one :3

november 20th, 2023: Testing out fonts! I really wanna use a pixel/bitmap-looking font, but firefox is a total bitch and keeps making it look fuzzy and hard to read... I might have to settle with getting a thicker font just because the dainty little 1 pixel thick line one becomes pure astigmatism-triggering horror... I tried disabling antialiasing in about:config, which worked alright, but that only really fixes it for myself, and messes up all other websites... Hm...

On another note, there's two new deep thoughts again! One's about my weird relationship with fandoms and stuff, and the other's about my struggle with being underweight! The latter is definitely not an easy read if you're sensitive to the topic, but I think my trigger warning system is pretty decent, so heed the warnings!!

november 16th, 2023: Two new deep thoughts yaaayy... One's a real bummer but the one about bodily autonomy is light-hearted and pretty pleasant to read in my opinion... It's just me screaming about how scary I find pregnancy, and personally I LOVE reading about people ranting about their greatest fears!!! That sounds more sinister than I intended.... oops...

november 12th, 2023: New deep thought has been added, this one's a lot more serious, and discusses my relationship with romantic love and a past relationship! I hope you'll enjoy.

november 7th 2023: A few minor additions have been added! Linked a playlist on my "finds" page of some of my selected albums, the playlist's pretty new, so expect more to be added to that once in a while! I've also written a whole bunch of diary entries, almost writing one every day, LOL... Feel free to read those if you want a peek into my very boring life... There's also a new entry in my deeper thoughts page, this time mainly about depression and my relationship to it + how I deal with it :3

november 3rd 2023: More reviews have arrived, a whopping eight of them!! Featuring the ENTIRE Doukyuusei series... I went a little crazy it seems... I had fun though! It's my absolute favorite series, so I'm extra harsh in these reviews, which I think is always fun to read!
I might write an extra piece about my over-all thoughts about the series and why I like it so much, but that'll probably have to wait until another time, since I'm in dire need of a break...

I've also added an extra page to my reviews, briefly going over what themes and stuff I like/dislike, since I always find those helpful in judging someone's character...

november 2nd 2023: KOKECHI HATCHED!!! Turns out he was a girl TamaNOTchi all along... He is still he/him coded to me so he will simply be a transmasc TamaNOTchi. I also have a new addition to the family called Button!! She's a girl in my mind but judging by the Kokechi incident she might be a boy under all that pink... Who knows!!
Also, I'm gonna add more reviews soon, I haven't been reading a lot of BL the past few days, or at least nothing either worth reviewing or that's finished... I'm gonna add new reviews every 5 I write I think, since it's a hassle to update every day just to add one or two...

Edit: I have now also added a deeper thoughts page where I post some more rambly stuff that's not relevant enough to be part of my diary! Currently I have one entry on there about loneliness, feel free to read it! You can access the page through my diary, or HERE!

november 1st 2023: Good morning! I didn't end up watching that movie yesterday, I was weirdly sad. I've been thinking about adding a proper diary page to this site, but I'm still not sure if I'm gonna do that yet... Maybe I'll add that today! I have to call the healthcare clinic tomorrow, since my medication is running out... I'm feeling really anxious about it, but I can do it! There's honestly a lot of things I should get done about my health, especially on the mental side LOL... One day maybe I'll be brave enough to get therapy. For now I'm staying strong facing every new day on my own (with the support of my friends and family)!

Edit: added a diary!

october 31st 2023: Happy halloween! I'm not a huge celebrator of any holidays, especially not halloween, but I hope you have lots of fun today! I might go watch a spooky movie, but I'm notoriously bad with horror, so maybe I shouldn't....

ANYWAY! I made a little badge! It's in my "Mail" block because I honestly couldn't find a better place for it... maybe I'll move Kokechi and put it down in the footer? Who knows!
Feel free to use it as long as you don't go against my DNI :3

october 30th 2023: Had a horrible migraine last evening/night... It's still going today, but the painkillers are working a bit better this time, so I've been able to add some stuff to the site!
Today I've added a "Finds" page, that'll contain stuff from around the web that I either really enjoy, or found useful! I'm considering adding a category for links to other sites, but I'm too shy for now... Once I make my own little banner I'll probably set that up!

I also added a TamaNOTchi! His name is Kokechi (it means moss-chi!), please treat him well!

october 29th 2023: I added a guestbook! now you can leave a message without needing to use tumblr or discord! feel free to use a pseudonym (email address isn't required!), I don't mind :3
I've also added some more reviews, and I'm now taking requests if anybody's even remotely interested in hearing what I have to say about specific ones LOL... I've likely already read whatever anybody might suggest, so don't worry about exposing me to The Horrors...

not that I'm actually expecting to get any requests LOL

october 28th 2023: I fixed the layout, so now the site's actually relatively finished-looking! yay!! I also added a BL review page, because that's like... my only interest I felt like would fit on a neocities site LOL... I've only got about 5 up there so far, but I'll write more soon! I honestly read so many that it's probably gonna be up in the 500-range once I've written every review... ayayai...

october 27th 2023: day two of trying to fix this hellish site... I've got a horrible headache and should probably call my healthcare clinic for a wide array of things, but im procrastinating by hyperfocusing on debugging LOL

through some awful research and terrible amounts of debugging both in inspect element and brute force through the style.css file.... I FINALLY FIXED IT!!!! YAAY!!! it was just an issue of me missing the fact that I had to add a flex-grow thing because the guides I was using never mentioned that... teehee....

edit: I WAS WRONG!!!!! AUUUGGHH!!!!

october 26th 2023: the birth of sourlulu.neocities.org! I've made a pretty basic layout so far, and I'm currently struggling with trying to get the little blocks to fit in the actual container they're supposed to go in... it's either wonky and overflowing, or it's cut off... I can't seem to get it to scale properly like I was able to with the width...

I also can't seem to get the box shadow of the header thing to work properly? the z-layering isn't working :(